I love surfing…I truly do. I love being in the ocean and playing with the waves. Nothing is quite as invigorating and so much fun as catching a wave.
How much surfing is too much though? Can there be too much? When I first started surfing I reckon I was a bit addicted to surfing. No matter the conditions, I would head out there. I planned my schedule around surfing. No one dare get in the way of my morning surf. Or bless my poor work colleagues at the time who had to deal with my grumpiness if overtime was required that would interfere with my afternoon surf. Surfing was definitely my lifeline in a busy, stressful job. It was also kept me healthy. Apart from the exercise, it actually made me get off the party train as I preferred to get up for an early morning surf than getting wasted. I would be out there every morning without fail and if I did not for some reason e.g. because I really needed a sleep in, I would beat myself up about not going in. Especially if someone told me, ‘conditions were awesome this morning’ I would be quite cranky with myself.
I bought surf magazines because I thought that’s what a real surfer has to do, even though I didn’t understand half of the surf talk and the other half I was not really interested in. I watched the ASP worldtour even though I didn’t really care that much but again I thought that’s what a ‘surfer’ ought to do. You need to know what’s going on the surfing tour, right?
I didn’t understand my friends who stopped surfing that much when they got a new boyfriend or ‘just ‘a new job. Traitors. You can always get a surf in. What’s more important than surfing anyway?
I’m joking about ‘being addicted to surfing’ but I think from time to time I really was balancing on that fine line between passion and addiction. I ended up being not true to myself and not very nice to myself either….reallly? get upset about yourself because you had a sleep in instead of a surf? Surely, your passion does not make you upset? I guess sometimes it was more like with an addiction it’s just covering up for something that’s not right in your life. Back at the time, I was not really happy with where I was at in life. I didn’t like my career and stumbled from one relationship drama into the next. I’ve looked at the ocean and the waves to make me happy. If I had no surf, I was grumpy.
Eventually, I realised it can’t go on like that (not the surfing bit…the unhappy life bit) and no amount of waves are going to change the fact that deep down I was not in a good place. Just that realisation kicked off a lot of personal development and the more I worked on myself the more things started to fall into place. I’m much more content and happy these days. As for my surfing, I’m still out there a lot but I’m not Grumpenstein when there is no surf, bad surf or when I just feel like a sleep in. I don’t really follow the Worldtour anymore. I don’t buy surf magazines for the sake of it. I’ve learnt to be more honest and true to myself. In fact, I was just telling my gidget friends how I haven’t been out there as much as I haven’t been feeling like it lately. And you know what that’s ok too. Like the waves are coming in surges so does my surf mojo it seems.